Yup, I’m starting with a below-freezing take. Beating dead horses is in vogue tonight. 

Truthfully, Resident Evil 6 is decent. Combat is rife with stylish animations that would make Kratos envious, particularly in The Mercenaries mode, where you’re doing hilariously over-the-top wrestling moves on undead monstrosities non-stop. Who knew Rey Mysterio’s skills were ideal for flesh-eating viral outbreaks?

The trouble is Resident Evil 6 doesn’t even attempt to be survival horror. There’s hardly any resource management or puzzles, partially because Capcom thought including countless explosions and constant Hallmark movie-like melodrama would appease everyone instead. Spoilers: it didn’t work.

Hear that? It’s the sound of an entire fanbase picking up pitchforks and torches — my head will likely be on a stick by sunrise.

Arguably no series entry is more divisive than Resident Evil: Code Veronica X. Many love the wild Matrix-like cutscenes where long-time baddie Albert Wesker knocks Chris Redfield around, and rightfully so – that stuff is wonderfully cheesy. Except for Steve, he’s pound-for-pound the most annoying character in Resident Evil‘s history. Sorry.

Snarky digs aside, the real problem with Resident Evil: Code Veronica X is it’s packed with sloppy game design. There are several moments where you can easily back yourself into no-win scenarios due to bizarre save points and item placements. Looking at you, airplane Tyrant fight.

For all intents and purposes, Resident Evil 0 marked the end of an era. It was the last title to feature tank controls and those oh-so-iconic fixed camera angles. Both of which were seemingly getting old for the folks at Capcom.

It’s hard to dispute that notion too. Resident Evil 0 got rid of item boxes, added a zapping buddy system, and tampered with other series mainstays in an effort to liven everything up. The result is, regrettably, quite tedious. I can only speak for myself, but the ability to drop anything made item management much more difficult – not better.

Plus, the story is just too weird. I’m all for silly nonsense in Resident Evil, but seeing some bishonen stereotype sing to leeches in the rain was too goofy for me – even at the tender age of 12. 

Most people will tell you that Capcom can do no wrong these days. Well, aside from Resident Evil 3 fans that absolutely detest the remake.

This 2020 reimaging of Resident Evil 3 is, frankly, not in the least bit concerned with being faithful. Entire sections from the 1999 release, like the hospital and factory, are just gone, and virtually every puzzle was Thanos-snapped out of existence. Worse yet, it turned Nemesis, the fan-favorite stalker enemy, into nothing but a vehicle for action setpieces. For series diehards, that was like Machine Gun Kelly covering Aerials.

However, the sting isn’t so bad once you accept that this version of Resident Evil 3 is actually a well-paced AAA third-person shooter. It also has the best dialogue and acting in franchise history. Neil Newbon’s performance as Nicholai balances ham with genuinely vile intentions to marvelous effect. Oh, and Nicole Tompkins brought us the best version of Jill Valentine that there’s ever been – don’t even try debating me on this.

Perhaps more than any other entry on this list, Resident Evil 5 is the one that garners so many mixed feelings from fans. It veers so hard into action territory that calling this survival horror would be a straight-up farce. Like, there’s probably not one solitary moment of this game that even tries to be scary.

On the other hand, Resident Evil 5 is excellent in co-op. Whether you’re chucking grenades into the U-8’s disgusting mandible-covered mouth or beating Wesker to a pulp as Chris and Sheva, this campaign is so much fun with friends — even if that Ndesu fight is still a complete pain in the butt.

Admittedly, certain aspects of the story haven’t aged well. Mainly how it depicts certain groups of people – anyone that’s played knows what I’m alluding to here. So the series-spanning grandiose ending vibe is soured a bit.

Playing Resident Evil 3: Nemesis is like trying to outrun a semi-truck on foot — only the driver is 7ft tall, carries rocket launchers around, and sprouts slimy tentacles when angry. 

The titular monster is arguably still Resident Evil‘s best stalker-type enemy. For the campaign’s first half, he’ll follow you from courtyards to office buildings with no regard for boundaries. There’s this odd personal feeling to the pursuit since Nemesis will even blitz any zombies that might take a bite out of Jill Valentine’s neck. It’s almost like he’s thinking: “No, she’s mine.”

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis is also, by many accounts, far better than its remake. Primarily for the reasons I mentioned earlier. Sometimes old-school games do it better. Go figure!

There’s no overselling the importance of Resident Evil. Not only did it (obviously) kick-start the series, but it popularized survival horror as a whole. Sure, Alone in the Dark and Sweet Home came first, but Resident Evil did everything better.

Resident Evil is also one of those rare examples of everyone knowing something about it. Like, everybody is familiar with the zombie dogs crashing through windows — to this day, it’s an all-time great jump scare. Or, of course, the hilariously bad voice acting. Cut the folks at Capcom some slack with that last bit, though. In 1996, most video games rarely had cutscenes.

The trouble is, Resident Evil has aged like cottage cheese on a sidewalk in 90-degree weather – especially the western release. Capcom intentionally made Resident Evil notoriously difficult (some might say broken), so people would have to rent the game multiple times from Blockbuster if they wanted to finish it. Sure, the Director’s Cut re-release scales back how bone-crushingly challenging everything is, but then you’ve got to deal with that awful basement music.

Resident Evil Village is a lot like a greatest hits album. Be it the duke being an obvious callback to Resident Evil 4‘s chuckling merchant or Castle Dimitrescu being a Spencer Mansion homage — Village knows what fans love about this franchise.

Sometimes those nostalgic hat tips come at a cost, though. All too often, Resident Evil Village made me feel like I should just be playing the games it was referencing instead since they usually did it better. Take the now-infamous Lady Dimitrescu, for example. She’s an ode to every stalker enemy that came before but is somehow remarkably forgettable outside of internet thirst. Probably because her section wraps up in under a couple of hours, then it’s off to a not-Silent Hill section with dolls.

Sometimes though, comfort food is what we all need, and Resident Evil Village tastes damn good. The recent Shadow of Rose DLC, in particular, is utterly terrifying at points. Truly, some of the best survival horror campaigns out there.

It’s nasty getting dirt and grime under your fingernails, right? That’s Resident Evil 7 at all times — a putrid assault on the senses. Like cleaning a public bathroom using an old toothbrush while some maniac tries to cave your skull in with their shovel.

Funnily enough, Resident Evil 7 was like a breath of fresh air for long-time fans. Gone was the bullet ballet absurdity of Resident Evil 6, and in its place, a filthy house in rural Louisiana full of puzzles, typewriters, limited ammo, and everything else people loved about Resident Evil in the first place. Though I’ll admit that the latter sections with mold-powered ghouls were rough.

Sure, the pivot to a first-person perspective was slightly jarring, but it works. There’s something deeply unsettling about Jack Baker’s yellow teeth coming into view in the dark. Seriously, someone get this man a bottle of mouthwash – please.

An immediate sequel rarely outshines the original in every quantifiable aspect, but Resident Evil 2 does so in all categories. Tough pill for the old guard to admit, but it’s true.

Let’s start with Resident Evil 2‘s perfect setting. No locale in this series is better than the Raccoon City Police Department. Whether it’s the brain-eating Lickers click-clacking across ceilings or Chief Irons suggesting that he practices taxidermy on humans — this place is essentially nihilism given physical form. No doubt aided by the fact that there’s a creepy art gallery motif to every puzzle.

Resident Evil 2 also introduced us to fan-favorite characters like Leon S. Kennedy, Claire Redfield, and Ada Wong. All of them have vastly different reasons for being in this doomed city, but they come together for a singular goal: survival. 

Can you gush about Resident Evil 4 without retreading old ground? Nope, so I’m not going to try. It is, without question, one of the greatest video games ever made. 

Think about it: over-the-shoulder gameplay that’s in most AAA titles? That came from Resident Evil 4 — as did a metric ton of other innovations like enemies reacting to specific body shots and setpieces like the El Gigante fights that many modern games still can’t surpass. Sure, certain mechanical elements like the quick time events don’t hold up that well nowadays, but in 2004? We’d barely seen anything like that. Plus, the Krauser knife fights still rules – I won’t budge on that one.

Above all else, what made Resident Evil 4 so remarkable is how diehard fans like myself gave it a pass despite the blatant betrayal of everything that Resident Evil was known for at the time. Zombies? Nope. Labyrinthine level design? Nuh-uh. Limited resources? Please, ammo is everywhere. None of that mattered, though, because Resident Evil 4 played so well that we didn’t care. Here’s to hoping the remake replicates even a fraction of that immaculate design.

When rumors of a Resident Evil 2 remake started making the rounds years ago, most thought it would be a disaster. Remember, this was a post-action pivot world where the survival horror genre almost died out. The notion that modern Capcom would do Resident Evil 2’s sublime nightmare justice seemed laughable.

Goodness, how wrong we all were.

This remake takes everything Resident Evil 2 does well and kicks everything into overdrive. An excellent example is Mr. X, who was a total pushover in the original. He couldn’t even follow you through doors! Not anymore. In the remake, Mr. X chases everywhere — like an elementary school teacher going after the class troublemaker. Except for, well, he’ll squash you into jelly.

Aside from a rather lackluster soundtrack, Resident Evil 2‘s remake outpaces the original in every way. This is precisely how you reinvent a classic.

Purists knew this was coming. There’s almost an unspoken rule among Resident Evil fans that it doesn’t matter what your favorite is: 2002’s GameCube remake takes top billing.

It’s hard to dispute that proposal in any meaningful way. Everything from the original Resident Evil is here, just way better and with plenty of thoughtful additions — for instance, the notorious crimson heads. If you don’t properly dispose of zombies, either through decapitation or by lighting them on fire, they’ll come back as sprinting ghouls that make backtracking a nightmare. 

Resident Evil‘s remake constantly balances old with new in ways other reinventions have yet to manage. Probably because Shinji Mikami, creator of the franchise, directed both games. It’s easy to improve on a classic when both titles have the same chauffeur, as it were.

Written by Kyle Campbell on behalf of GLHF.