A dad named Ben Patterson decided to swap cars with his wife so she could go hang out with her friends and he'd take the kids home. But what ended up happening was so nasty and devastating that the police actually had to get involved, and a whole bunch of texts Patterson sent his wife are now going viral.

"On the way home, projectile vomit occurred..." Patterson explained in his Facebook post that includes screenshots of a text conversation he was attempting to have with his wife Stephanie. 

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In the midst of trying to clean up his son Declan's vomit, Patterson said he threw up, because he's a "sympathetic vomiter and can't handle the smell." "This is SO BAD," he wrote to his wife. "Aaaand now the cops showed up. Because they have nothing better to do ... Aaaand now a breathalyzer. YOU OWE ME SO BIG."

Despite the graphic, dramatic play-by-play, Stephanie never responded.

Although people are laughing their asses off over the poor dad's experience, most comments on Patterson's post are sympathetic. A commenter named Heather Hickman Ewing wrote, "This would be except I may I have actually abandoned my kids or I would be rocking in a corner and freaking out. I'm so phobic of vomit." Another named Jeremy Porter said, "Thoroughly enjoyed empathizing and laughing at your misfortune! On multiple occasions our daughter blew chunks in the car to the extent that I had to remove the car seat, dismantle it entirely, clean every crevice and launder the seat cover."

So far, Patterson's post has been shared more than 133,000 times. 

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Maressa Brown
Hi! I'm Maressa, Cosmopolitan.com's parenting editor. I'm joyfully infatuated with astrology, summer, Cholula hot sauce, loud LOLing, lipstick, body positivity, and investigating anything from the best local cold brew on Yelp to the most popular pregnancy sex positions — for your benefit, of course.