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Today, a band called Weezer released a collection of media that it refers to as The White Album. Though “the” typically indicates a definitive measurement, there are several The White Albums in existence. To help everyone out, we have categorized them by shade.
Artist: The Beatles
Title: Self-titled album also known as The White Album
Year: 1968
Media: Music
What shade of white? The Bone White Album
This The White Album is elemental, strong, necessary. Without it, we could be piles of flesh and organs and hair.
Artist: Fleetwood Mac
Title: Self-titled album also known as The White Album
Year: 1975
Media: Music
What shade of white? The Cocaine White Album
This The White Album is the color of pale-cheeked face fuel, guitar spasms, ego, empty promises as a theme.
Artist: Joan Didion
Title: The White Album
Year: 1979
Media: Essays
What shade of white? The Eggshell White Album
The shade of something fragile, barely holding it together.
Artist: Shaun White
Title: The White Album
Year: 2004
Media: Documentary
What shade of white? The Fresh Powder White Album
As white as the dank, cold, freshly driven snow.
Artist: Hillsong Church
Title: The White Album
Year: 2014
Media: Music
What shade of white? The Beige White Album
This is worship music half pretending it’s not worship music, just like beige is pretending that it’s an earthly color and not the very shade of terrifying neutrality.
Artist: Pioneer Photo Albums
Title: 120-Pocket 3-Ring Sewn Leatherette Frame Cover Photo Box for 4" x 6", 5" x 7", 6" x 8" prints
Year: Timeless
Media: Mixed
What shade of white? The Ivory White Album
As Amazon reviews describe it, this album comes “just as pictured but comes with a weird smell.” Sounds like a description of something protruding from an enormous animal’s nose area to me!
Artist: Weezer
Title: Self-titled album also known as The White Album
Year: 2016
Media: Music
What shade of white? The Baby Powder White Album
This is a shade that’s not going to offend anyone. Not typically beloved by the mature.