Have You Played... Neverwinter Nights?

Neverwinter Nights is a Dungeons & Dragons RPG from the early 2000s and it very handily got an enhanced edition last year. What timing! There’s a sequel where you have prettier character models, but I still prefer the first one. This is party because I like complex RPGs, but mostly because of Aribeth.

Aribeth de Tylmarande is a half-elven NPC paladin for Tyr, the blind god of justice. A lot of paladins are stuffy and over-concerned with rules. They are basically narcs. They are the narc class. Do not @ me. I’m not even on Twitter so it won’t work, haha I win!

In line with being one of the wisest and greatest warriors of her age, Aribeth has some of the most impressively impractical armour you’ve ever seen. It’s strapless and backless, so she can take it from day wear (with perhaps a light cardigan and flats) to evening (stiletto pumps, a clutch purse and a statement necklace). It is, essentially, a big metal corset that is handily also a push up bra doubling her cleavage. If Ann Summers made armour it would be this. In some of the character art she even has, like, an asymmetrical ornamental shoulder guard. The picture at the top is how she appears in-game (she is healing the player character) so you can see they thought it was very important the plunge neckline was rendered on her blocky little character model.

That aside, Aribeth is actually one of my favourite game characters ever. She has a great arc in the story (extended if you also get all the DLC for the game, of which there is plenty) and despite being held back by her ridiculous armour, or perhaps pushed forwards, she is also a certified badass who swings a massive great sword around. Thumbs up for Aribeth.