Inside Minka Kelly’s dark childhood coping with stripper mom’s addiction and Aerosmith rocker dad’s absence
MINKA Kelly has opened up about her troubled childhood and her mother's addiction issues in her new memoir.
The actress did not have it easy growing up with her single mother, Maureen, amid the absence of her father, former Aerosmith guitarist Rick Dufay.
Minka revealed her struggles in her upcoming book, Tell Me Everything, where she detailed her poor upbringing before reaching success as a TV and film star.
Ahead of the memoir's May 2nd release, the Parenthood star sat down with People magazine to discuss some of the tough times she wrote about.
"I spent a lot of my youth wishing my mom was something she wasn't, wishing she was like the other moms," the 42-year-old told the publication.
"I only was able to really appreciate how special she was when I got much older. In fact when it was maybe a little too late."
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The mother-daughter pair struggled financially throughout Minka's childhood, even resulting in them living in a storage unit at one point due to being unable to afford rent.
Minka also frequented Crazy Girls strip club in Los Angeles with her mother, who performed at the venue.
"If she made a lot of money that night, we'd go grocery shopping at 2 a.m." The Roommate star recalled, though admitted she found a bright side through it all.
"My childhood was colorful and chaotic, unstable and inconsistent, unpredictable and hard a lot of the time. But the silver lining is that it made me a very adaptable person."
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Minka also shared early in her book how she made ends meet by performing in peep shows and working in adult-film stores as a teenager while her mom would leave her for extended periods of time.
"I started with the scariest part. The part that I carried the most shame about, the part that I felt the most embarrassed of, the part that I hid my whole life, and the part that I've had people make me feel bad about.
"And I felt like that was just where I had to be the [bravest]," she explained.
MOVING FORWARD
Minka later escaped a toxic relationship, which involved an abortion and a sex tape, and went to Los Angeles to track down her father, Rick.
She then studied to become a scrub nurse before focusing on her modeling and acting career, which led to her breakout role on Friday Night Lights.
"I was terrified because I was in way over my head. I was learning as I was going," Minka said of her days on the hit series.
"So you see me on that show literally learn how to do what I do. Funny enough, at that point in my career, I was very curious about what people thought of me.
"And I have to be honest, reading a lot of really mean things about me helped. I was just able to read the feedback constructively."
But while Minka was gaining notoriety in the industry and some pretty sizable paychecks, she began to distance herself from her still struggling mother.
The last straw for the California native was when her mother asked her for financial support, which resulted in their estrangement.
However, the duo rekindled their relationship, though it wasn't until after Maureen was diagnosed with colon cancer and given two years to live.
"I saw her start to crumble in shame and regret and pain when she was already in so much of all of those things, and I just immediately thought, 'I don't need to do this to her,'" Minka shared.
"I only need to forgive her and love her. She's already broken. What is the point of pouring salt on the wound? I'm fine. I just want to take care of her right now."
DEVASTATING LOSS
Maureen died in 2008 at a hospice facility in Albuquerque, where Minka held her in her final moments.
Despite making peace in their relationship, Minka admitted she wished it had happened sooner and that they had spent Thanksgiving together.
"Because that was her favorite holiday, and she really wanted me to be there," the 500 Days of Summer star explained.
"I just was like, 'Ah, I'll see you for the next one,' knowing deep down there wasn't going to be another. And I think about that a lot. That still breaks my heart."
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Minka now hopes her book will be a shining light for others who "might have complicated relationships with their mothers to feel less alone."
She added that writing it allowed her to embrace "all the darkest, most scary parts, the parts that I carried a lot of shame about my whole life,"
