Edinson Cavani reveals that PSG just don't love him enough

Yesterday, Edinson Cavani caused a stir by not showing up for preseason training with Paris Saint-Germain. Turned out that Edy had been excused, but such an explanation would get in the way of quality rumor-mongering. Clearly Cavani was skipping out because he's on his way to Manchester United.

Now, el Matador has revealed that the French just don't love him enough. He spoke to Uruguay newspaper El Observador, talking about the World Cup, Luis Suárez, and most importantly, the shift from Naples to Paris.

In Paris, it seems, Edy can go about his life as though he is a normal human being. Sure, people ask him for photographs or whatever, but they are very respectful about it. He can walk down the street and everyone remains cool.

But in Italy, life was different. In Italy people "breathe football." While at Napoli, it was difficult for Cavani to leave his house, because people were always coming up to him, showering him with attention and affection.

It's clear that the people of France just don't love Cavani enough. He's overshadowed by Zlatan, and so when people see him, they simply shrug and go about their daily lives. No one puts his face in the foam atop a cappuccino, or makes him into a pizza, or creates a life-size cake in his honor. Cavani is trying to make the best of it, adopting a brave smile and talking about how nice it is that he can leave his house.

But we know the truth, Edy. You deserve to be adored. Come home. Naples loves you.

(Cavani also makes sure to mention that he never robbed or killed anyone. Talk about the Luis Suárez effect...)