Oscar Garcia is at home in Barcelona.
“If I was brave before, now I am much braver and stronger,” he says.
In November, his 21-year-old daughter Mariona died after an eight-year illness.
“In Spanish, we say ‘relativizar’ (trying to put things in perspective), so like I said to my two other daughters (Jana, 19, and Emma, 13) this is the worst thing that can happen in your life.
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“It’s not simply that we should be strong — of course you, we, should cry and deal with this in whatever way we can. But we will eventually be strong because in the future we will look back and see that nothing will hurt more than this.”
Garcia has kept a dignified silence about his eldest daughter’s final days. It is a deeply sensitive subject that he has not really spoken about publicly until now.
He announced the death of his daughter on November 24, 2022 via Instagram, with the simple message “Vola alt amor meu (Fly high, my love)”.
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The support he has received since has aided the grieving process.
“Fortunately, not many people have to go through this, but I had some messages from people that have (experienced) this situation. It was amazing to see how many people sent messages; people that for a long time you hadn’t seen or spoken to sending their condolences.
“There have been lots of messages from ex-team-mates, some who are now coaches and others that I didn’t have a relationship (with) as a friend or team-mate, and I appreciate that a lot… Some colleagues that you’ve only spoken to maybe once or twice in your life wanting to give their support was a big surprise.
“In football, coaches are sometimes isolated. If there’s an issue with a player, (people) can go and take care of them. With coaches it’s different because people think we are robots (in) that we can deal with everything; that we do not have a family who (might) be suffering. Externally everything is fine, but not internally.”
Garcia, 49, was sacked from his last job at Stade de Reims on October 13, 2022, in the middle of his family’s crisis.
“I had the bad news of my daughter, so I asked the club that on the free days we have each week, maybe I should go to Barcelona to see her,” he says. “But for them, (in the end) it was not acceptable, (this) situation. They decided to finish my contract.”
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Garcia was unable to be in the dugout for two games — against Lens on September 4 and against Paris Saint-Germain on 8 October, just before he was sacked — because he needed to be with his family.
“He has all of our support and all of our love because these aren’t easy moments. We are with him with all our hearts,” said Will Still, Garcia’s then-assistant who stood in for him and was appointed after his departure.
Reims, who finished 12th in Garcia’s first season and were 15th when he was dismissed, said “in view of the results (being) below the expected objectives and in order to protect the best interests of the institution” they decided to end Garcia’s time in charge.
Garcia remains in talks with the Ligue 1 club about the way his 16-month tenure came to an end.
Reims posted a message on Twitter when Garcia announced Mariona’s death: “It is with great sadness that Stade de Reims learned this Thursday of the tragedy affecting Oscar Garcia and his family. The entire club send them its most sincere condolences”.
Since 2014, Garcia and his family had dealt privately with his daughter’s illness.
For the first time, he has spoken in detail about what was happening behind the scenes at that time and how it coincided with his departure from Maccabi Tel Aviv after his second spell at the club and subsequent stint at Watford.
The stress of managing amid fierce fighting in Israel forced Garcia to make the difficult decision to leave Tel Aviv in August 2014 after just under three months in charge.
In his first spell in Israel, before managing Brighton and Hove Albion in 2013-14, he had led Maccabi to the league title. But the second time was very different.
“Sometimes at four in the morning the sirens started to sound,” he says, “and you had to go to the panic room in your apartment and stay there until the missile was eliminated. It was a difficult time. We had war for 50 days.”
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Meanwhile, Watford were running out of patience with Italian manager Beppe Sannino. Once Garcia became available, they sounded him out. Within one week, he had been appointed by the Championship club.
“I was not at 100 per cent to forget mentally what happened in Tel Aviv,” he says. “It was a difficult week because I left a lot of players, staff and supporters. We decided very fast to go (to Watford) to sign. I had this in my mind when we arrived there and then there was the personal problem in my family.”
The day after Garcia’s first game in charge, a 1-0 defeat away at Charlton, the phone rang.
“I was at home and I had a call from my family,” he says. “They explained this personal issue and I started to feel not so good.
“It was the issue with my daughter, but we didn’t know what was happening with her. It was after some weeks that they found the problem (diagnosed as a brain tumour). I called my assistant who came to my house with his wife, and they saw that I wasn’t very well and called an ambulance to take me to the hospital.”
Garcia and others close to him describe the event as something akin to a panic attack. He was initially kept in hospital, but Watford’s fixtures kept coming thick and fast.
“My staff and Billy (McKinlay, first-team coach) took charge of the team but I was in contact with them. Then the doctors told me that maybe I will need three or four weeks off without any stress.”
It meant making a tough call.
“It was not possible to tell the owner (Gino Pozzo) to wait for me three or four weeks and I didn’t want to stop the club in the journey,” says Garcia. “I decided to do the best thing for the club to step away — not for me because I was really sure that we would reach the Premier League, which was my dream and one of the biggest opportunities of my life. And I am sure that we would’ve done it because my staff stayed there and they reached the Premier League with Slavisa Jokanovic.
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“Nobody knows what happened after this, in my case with the news of my daughter, and then to have to decide to not coach in the Premier League. These were huge blows.
“It was a hard time, and after we confirmed (my daughter’s illness) I spent months where I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. At that time, my family’s life changed a lot but all these things make me really strong.”
Garcia has been approached since leaving Reims but has bided his time, his family utmost in his thoughts.
“Maybe now I feel like a robot because all of these things have happened in my life and now I’m sure I’m ready to start again,” he says. “I’m feeling strong to come back to coaching as soon as possible.
“It’s my life. It’s what I want to do.”
He feels he has unfinished business in England. With Brighton, he lost in the Championship play-off semi-finals, and he missed out on the glory of that season at Watford.
The seed of working in England was first planted during his playing days when he spent a week training with West Ham in Portugal in 2002, although a permanent move never materialised.
Garcia feels his playing experience at Barcelona — where he won eight major trophies (including four La Liga titles) and was managed and mentored by Johan Cruyff — helped him deal with the pressure of management.
“When you lost, it was like a disaster,” he says. “I like the pressure, it’s a big motivation for me.”
It took its toll on his father though, watching Oscar and his younger brother Roger play at the Camp Nou.
“He couldn’t deal with people insulting me or my brother. He would come at first but then he decided for his health he wouldn’t come again, even though football was his passion,” says Garcia.
“People don’t realise that behind the coach, the players, we are humans and have a lot of people — family and friends — that are suffering with these kinds of things.”
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Garcia believes in giving opportunities to youngsters, despite it being a balancing act. He has helped develop players such as Dayot Upamecano, Amadou Haidara, Hugo Ekitike and Wout Faes, the latter now of Leicester City.
“You have to make the players believe that they are capable of doing it,” he says. “I will never put a young player into the team too early because that would be a disaster.”
He follows two simple rules: “One is never to lie to them and always tell them the truth, and (the second is to) never put them in trouble if they are not capable.”
Crossing paths with his former Barcelona team-mates Pep Guardiola and Julen Lopetegui in the Premier League is now the aim for Garcia.
“(To play in England) was my target as a football player and I was close with West Ham. It’s something that I have inside of me.”
He smiles, a reflective smile, as the conversation ends with two words mentioned. “Carpe diem.”
(Photos courtesy of Oscar Garcia; graphic: Sam Richardson)