Look, soccer (football) is the best sport in the world, it’s not worth arguing. The World Cup is the best tournament in football. This year, the World Cup takes place in Brazil, with matches at some of the most revered stadia in sports history. It’s also full of the hottest dudes on the planet.

We’re going to introduce the teams by way of their kits, since we all know clothes make the man. Here’s what the hotties will be wearing this year.

TODAY: GROUP C

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Look, soccer (football) is the best sport in the world, it’s not worth arguing. The World Cup is the best tournament in football. This year, the World Cup takes place in Brazil, with matches at some of the most revered stadia in sports history. It’s also full of the hottest dudes on the planet.

The Group Stage is filled with so many hotties, it’s hard to keep track. Every other day, we’ll highlight the five hotties from each team per group.

Today, GROUP C HOTNESS!

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With great sadness, we bring you the first “In Memorium” of the World Cup of Hotness. Two teams have now been effectively eliminated from the tournament: Australia, which everyone sort of guessed, and Spain, which almost nobody guessed.

So crank up “Everybody Hurts” and prepare to say goodbye to some truly delicious footballers.

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Kits are graded on a five-star scale in three main categories:

• Patriotism: This category is about how well the kit reflects the country in question. The World Cup is like the Olympics, and the teams represent their countries, so this matters! Patriotism is most often accomplished by mirroring national flags, but may also be done by appealing to other traditions like historic kits, national symbols, and other traditions.
  
• Design: Does the kit look good? That’s what this is about. Obviously this is a subjective category, but what are you gonna do?
  
• Details: A lot of national kits are really similar year after year; what sets them apart is the details. This is also a catch-all for the little things about a kit that don’t fall into design or patriotism that work to its favor or detriment.
  

ON TO THE KITS! Today is Group C, which includes France, Australia, Peru, and Denmark.

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The official rosters were announced today…that means hotness research can begin in earnest! But hotness in footballers isn’t new. It’s been around a long time. To celebrate this slower news day, I’m going to take you on a journey through the World Cup of Hotness Hall of Fame. These hotties are classics, doing their best work before 1990.

Note: WCOH Hall of Famers must have played in World Cups. There’s lots of hotness to go around, and I have to narrow it down somehow.

Didi

Waldyr Pereria was better known as “Didi,” and played for Brazil in the 1954, 1958, and 1962 World Cups (Brazil won the last two). He was named the best player of the tournament in 1958. He played professionally from 1946-1966, for prestigious teams like Botafogo, Real Madrid, and Sao Paulo. Following his time as a player, he had a prestigious coaching career.

That smile, those cheekbones, that intense gaze…he’s like a fairy tale prince who also happens to be good at free kicks.

Jairzinho

Jair Ventura Filha was a member of the 1970 World-Cup winning Brazil team, and he also played on the 1966 and 1974 teams. A right-winger by trade, he could slot in to many attacking positions. He spent most of his professional career at the Brazilian team Botafogo.

Cheekbones for days, full lips, that bod. A bold sense of style. Are you kidding me? 

Mario Kempes

Kempes was a member of the 1974, 1978, and 1982 Argentina squads. He’s best known as the leading the Cup-winning 78 squad from the front: he won the Golden Boot (scored the most goals in the tournament) and scored twice in the final. He played for many teams but is most closely associated with Rosario Central in Argentina and Valencia in Spain.

Long and lanky with similarly long and lanky hair, I feel like Kempes could be the hot frontman of that cool band you like right now and no one could tell the difference

Sándor Kocsis

The top goalscorer in the 1954 World Cup, this Hungarian played for the Budapest team Honvéd FC for seven years and for Barcelona for seven years. He is one of only two players in FIFA records with an average of more than one goal per game playing for his national team.

Get you a man who can serve both Andrew Garfield twink cuteness and be a hot dad at the same time and have the highest international goal per game ratio of all time. You deserve it.

Raymond Kopa

Kopa was a French striker who played professionally for Reims and Real Madrid. He was a member of the 1954 and third-place winning 1958 French squads. He won the 1958 Ballon d’Or (Footballer of the Year Award) and was the first football player to be awarded the France Légion d'honneur.

Look at this cutie! He’s so very French. And was apparently quite congenial. I found a bunch of pictures of him hanging with the rest of the guys on this list. Best wingman ever.

Pelé

Pelé’s full name is Edson Arantes do Nascimento, but he only needs Pelé. He is quite possibly the single greatest football player of all time, and was even considered Athlete of the Century (in

any

sport) by the International Olympic Committee. He was a member of four Brazil World Cup squads…and won three times–in 1958, 1962, and 1970. (They shockingly did not make it out of the group stages in 1966). He played over 1100 matches for Santos FC, and helped launch the first professional soccer league in the US when he played for the New York Cosmos. 

Hotness is not particularly the thing Pelé is known for, but his smile makes me melt into an absolute puddle. I think he’s as beautiful a man as he is a footballer. And that’s saying something.

Luis Suárez Miramontes

An attacking midfielder, Luis Suárez has represented his home country Spain in three World Cups: 1962, 1966, and

1990

? Yes, after his professional career, which included long stints at both Barcelona and Inter Milan, Suárez began a successful coaching career. So, after a 24 year absence, he returned to the World Cup team as a coach for the 1990 Spain squad.

Who does this kid think he is, and how is he a 1950s soccer player and not the current star of Riverdale? Football is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Lev Yashin
You want swagger? How about the being the only goalkeeper ever to win the Ball d’Or? He was the goalkeeper for the USSR for four World Cups: 1958, 1962, 1966, and 1970. He’s considering one of the fathers of modern goalkeeping–being a leader by organizing the defense on the field, and rushing defenders rather than waiting between the sticks. He’s kept of 270 clean sheets and saved over 150 penalties in his career

Yashin might not be to all ya’ll’s tastes, but I can’t help but find him attractive. Sweaty and covered in mud, this face swaggers over after just having saved his zillionth penalty. Swoon.

Look, soccer (football) is the best sport in the world, it’s not worth arguing. The World Cup is the best tournament in football. This year, the World Cup takes place in Brazil, with matches at some of the most revered stadia in sports history. It’s also full of the hottest dudes on the planet.

The Group Stage is filled with so many hotties, it’s hard to keep track. Every other day, we’ll highlight the five hotties from each team per group.

Today, GROUP H HOTNESS!

Keep reading

Look, soccer (football) is the best sport in the world, it’s not worth arguing. The World Cup is the best tournament in football. This year, the World Cup takes place in Brazil, with matches at some of the most revered stadia in sports history. It’s also full of the hottest dudes on the planet.

The Group Stage is filled with so many hotties, it’s hard to keep track. Every other day, we’ll highlight the five hotties from each team per group.

Today, GROUP G HOTNESS!

Keep reading

Look, soccer (football) is the best sport in the world, it’s not worth arguing. The World Cup is the best tournament in football. This year, the World Cup takes place in Brazil, with matches at some of the most revered stadia in sports history. It’s also full of the hottest dudes on the planet.

The Group Stage is filled with so many hotties, it’s hard to keep track. Every other day, we’ll highlight the five hotties from each team per group.

Today, GROUP D HOTNESS

Keep reading

Look, soccer (football) is the best sport in the world, it’s not worth arguing. The World Cup is the best tournament in football. This year, the World Cup takes place in Brazil, with matches at some of the most revered stadia in sports history. It’s also full of the hottest dudes on the planet.

We’re going to introduce the teams by way of their kits, since we all know clothes make the man. Here’s what the hotties will be wearing this year.

Today: GROUP F

Keep reading

Welcome to the Hotness Knockout Stages!

We’re in the Round of Sixteen. Here’s how this will go: I will be posting the FULL 23 MAN ROSTER for EACH TEAM

Vote by sending me a message or reblogging/replying to the Round of Sixteen post with your choice!

This round, to mix things up, I’m getting involved. My vote only counts for 1, and for the ~content~ I’ll go man by man, scoring 1 point for the hotter guy, 0 points for tie. Without further ado the REAL World Cup final matchup in the Round of Sixteen here:

Livakovis is cute, but Lloris is BAE
CRO 0:1 FRA

I like Pavard’s locks, but I think Vrsaljko takes it.
CRO 1:1 FRA

Damn, too tough for me–two different, delicious tastes!
CRO 1:1 FRA

Varane takes it for me. 
CRO 1:2 FRA

Oof. No wonder these teams are in the final. But slight edge to Corluka for me, despite Umtiti’s great grin.
CRO 2:2 FRA

ARGH THESE ARE HARD. Tie.
CRO 2:2 FRA

Hmm, Rakitic looks good here, but I think Griezmann takes it.
CRO 2:3 FRA

I can’t choose.
CRO 2:3 FRA

Damn, this is cruel. Kramaric is a cutie but Giroud.
CRO 2:4 FRA

Two fine players, but I’d rather smooch Mbappe.
CRO 2:5 FRA

Hmm, Brozovic takes this one.
CRO 3:5 FRA

Jedvaj’s not really my type, but I think he’s a little cuter than the midfield maestro.
CRO 4:5 FRA

Hmm…Matuidi!
CRO 4:6 FRA

Damn, tie.
CRO 4:6 FRA

Mandanda’s a legend, but I’d rather date Kalinic.
CRO 5:6 FRA

Hmm…Rami for Memi.
CRO 5:7 FRA

I think this one’s for Rebic.
CRO 6:7 FRA

ARGH. Sidibe?
CRO 6:8 FRA

Well these kids could be twins or something. Tie.
CRO 6:8 FRA

Sorry Vida, I can’t with your hair. Plus, Lucas is way hot.
CRO 6:9 FRA

Ooh, a toughie Two cuties. Tie.
CRO 6:9 FRA

Two PSG keeps, but one of ‘em in the hottest in the biz. Vive le France
CRO 6:10 FRA

A tight battle, but France takes it for me!