Look, soccer (football) is the best sport in the world, it’s not worth arguing. The World Cup is the best tournament in football. This year, the World Cup takes place in Brazil, with matches at some of the most revered stadia in sports history. It’s also full of the hottest dudes on the planet.

We’re going to introduce the teams by way of their kits, since we all know clothes make the man. Here’s what the hotties will be wearing this year.

Today: GROUP E

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Look, soccer (football) is the best sport in the world, it’s not worth arguing. The World Cup is the best tournament in football. This year, the World Cup takes place in Brazil, with matches at some of the most revered stadia in sports history. It’s also full of the hottest dudes on the planet.

The Group Stage is filled with so many hotties, it’s hard to keep track. Every other day, we’ll highlight the five hotties from each team per group.

Today, GROUP E HOTNESS!

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Kits are graded on a five-star scale in three main categories:

• Patriotism: This category is about how well the kit reflects the country in question. The World Cup is like the Olympics, and the teams represent their countries, so this matters! Patriotism is most often accomplished by mirroring national flags, but may also be done by appealing to other traditions like historic kits, national symbols, and other traditions.
  
• Design: Does the kit look good? That’s what this is about. Obviously this is a subjective category, but what are you gonna do?
  
• Details: A lot of national kits are really similar year after year; what sets them apart is the details. This is also a catch-all for the little things about a kit that don’t fall into design or patriotism that work to its favor or detriment.
  

Group E includes Brazil, Switzerland, Costa Rica, and Serbia

ON TO THE KITS!

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Who is the 🔥HOTTEST🔥 team in the World Cup? It’s your chance to decide. We’ll do it like the World Cup, with group stages and brackets.

Each team will get a point for each like, reblog, reply, and message. The top two teams from each group will move on to the Knock Out Stages. In the unlikely event of a tie, I will exercise the tiny privilege this blog gives me as tiebreaker. The Group Stages end July 4th–TOMORROW NIGHT!

Remeber! If you have already liked and reblogged, earn your team more points by dropping a message in their favor! Or, better yet, get your friends to like and reblog!

If you get 5 friends to like and reblog a post, that’s 10 votes! As you can see below, that could completely change the fate of many groups!

Here are the current standings as of the fifth and penultimate night of the group stages. I’m being a bit more detailed to encourage some last-minute frenzy!

GROUP A

• 🇷🇺 Russia 
• With 22 votes, Russia stay stable at 9% of the total.
• 🇺🇾 Uruguay
• Uruguay gain a tiny bit of ground, moving up to 56% of the group total with a whopping 135 votes.
• 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia
• Saudi Arabia stays stable, 5 votes counting for about 2% of the total
• 🇪🇬 Egypt
• Egypt lose a little ground, as their 81 votes give them 33% of the total.

GROUP B

• 🇵🇹 Portugal
• Stable for Portugal, their 17 votes give them 11% of the total.
• 🇪🇸 Spain
• Spain’s 50 votes keep them in second with 32% of the votes
• 🇲🇦 Morocco
• Morocco lose a percent, their 21 votes garnering them 13% of votes
• 🇮🇷 Iran
• Iran’s 68 votes put them in the lead with 44% of the vote tally.

GROUP C

• 🇫🇷 France 
• France continues to slowly gain ground over Peru, with 47 votes bumping them up to 29% of the votes.
• 🇦🇺 Australia
• Australia cedes a bit of ground, its 12 votes garnering 7% of the total
• 🇵🇪 Peru 35%  27%  27%
• Peru’s 44 votes keep them in touch of second place with 27% of the vote.
• 🇩🇰 Denmark
• Denmark’s 61 votes keep them on top, as they horde 37% of the group’s votes.

GROUP D

• 🇦🇷 Argentina
• Argentina’s 58 votes give them 23% of the group total
• 🇮🇸 Iceland
• The Vikings gain ground from Argentina, 78 votes giving them 31% of the group total
• 🇭🇷 Croatia
• Croatia’s 108 votes give them a commanding 43% of the group’s votes.
• 🇳🇬 Nigeria
• Nigeria’s 7 votes give them 3% of the total.

GROUP E

• 🇧🇷 Brazil
• Brazil maintain their lead of the group with 31 votes, 45% of the total.
• 🇨🇭 Switzerland
• Switzerland’s 11 votes give them 16% of the total
• 🇨🇷 Costa Rica 7%  6%  6%
• Costa Rica’s 4 votes give them 6% of the total group votes.
• 🇷🇸 Serbia
• Serbia’s 23 votes give them a strong hold on second place with 33% of the vote

GROUP F

• 🇩🇪 Germany
• Germany’s 30 votes account for 27% of Group F’s votes and put them in second place
• 🇲🇽 Mexico
• Mexico cedes a little ground but still has all the marbles - 65 votes gives them 58% of the group’s votes
• 🇰🇷 South Korea
• South Korea’s 11 votes keep them steady at 10%
• 🇸🇪 Sweden
• Sweden’s victory is likely responsible for a 2% bump, as 6 votes give them 5% of the votes.

GROUP G

• 🇧🇪 Belgium
• No changes proportionally in this group, Belgium’s 42 votes give them 39% of the vote tally
• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 England
• England’s 50 votes keep them at 46% of the vote tally
• 🇵🇦 Panama
• Panama’s 5 votes give them 6% of the total.
• 🇹🇳 Tunisia
• Despite some of the most dedicated fans, Tunisia only has 10 votes, and 9% of Group G’s votes

GROUP H

• 🇵🇱 Poland
• You CAN make a difference. Poland got some love today and leapt up several percentage points! 12 votes gives them 16% of the share.
• 🇯🇵 Japan
• Japan’s 18 votes keep them stable at 24%
• 🇨🇴 Colombia
• Poland’s gain was Colombia’s loss. But there’s still well in the lead with 41 votes–54% of the group total
• 🇸🇳 Senegal
• Senegal moves around within a point or so, and 5 votes gives them 6% of the total.

Who is the 🔥HOTTEST🔥 team in the World Cup? It’s your chance to decide. We’ll do it like the World Cup, with group stages and brackets.

RESULTS ARE IN FOR THE GROUP STAGE! I’ll put the brackets up later today. I’ve got a busy weekend, so Knockouts will likely begin on Monday.

GROUP A

• URUGUAY finish on top with 55% of the vote!
• EGYPT finish second with 33% of the vote!
• Russia takes third with 10%
• Saudi Arabia finishes up with 2%

GROUP B

• IRAN top the group with 44% of the vote!
• SPAIN finish second with 32%
• Morocco get pip third place with 13%
• Despite a late rally, Portugal finish late with 12%

GROUP C

• DENMARK tops with group with 38% of the vote
• FRANCE’s late rally got them through the deadlock, and they finish second with 29%
• Peru’s 44 votes are only enough for third, and 27% of the vote
• Australia had a rough showing this year, and only finish with 7% of the vote.

GROUP D

• CROATIA top the group with 43% of the vote
• ICELAND get second place with 31%
• No great escape for Argentina, who only grab 23% of the vote
• Nigeria’s 7 votes give them 3% of the total.

GROUP E

• BRAZIL’s samba kings lead the group with 46% of the vote
• SERBIA grabs second with 33%
• Switzerland gets third place with 15% of the vote
• Costa Rica finishes off the group with 6% of the vote

GROUP F

• MEXICO top with group with a stunning 58% of the vote
• GERMANY pick the second spot with 27%
• South Korea’s 11 votes kept them steady at 10% for third place
• Sweden manage to get 5% of the vote, for last place.

GROUP G

• ENGLAND top the group, commanding 49% of the vote.
• BELGIUM’s Red Devils grab second with 35%
• Tunisia had the most dedicated fans, and moved their team the most % points. Alas, they got to third, with 10% of the group votes.
• Panama finishes last, with 6% of the vote

GROUP H

• COLOMBIA top the group with 54% of the vote
• JAPAN finish second, with 25% of the vote
• Poland’s dedicated fans worked hard, but Poland only managed 16% of the vote (7 votes shy of Japan)
• Senegal round out the group with 6% of the group.

WORLD CUP OF HOTNESS: HOTTEST TEAM!

Now that most of the teams have been “introduced,” it’s your time to decide: who is the 🔥HOTTEST🔥 team in the World Cup? We’ll do it like the World Cup, with group stages and brackets. 

Each team will get a point for each like, reblog, reply, and message. The top two teams from each group will move on to the Knock Out Stages. In the unlikely event of a tie, I will exercise the tiny privilege this blog gives me as tiebreaker. 

As the Final Team intros come out in the next two days, I’ll update the list below.

CELEBRATE FIREWORKS OF A DIFFERENT KIND BY CHOOSING YOUR FAVORITES BY JULY 4TH. KNOCKOUTS WILL CONTINUE ALONG WITH THE WORLD CUP UNTIL THE FINAL ON 7/15!

GROUP A

• 🇷🇺 Russia 🇷🇺
• 🇺🇾 Uruguay 🇺🇾
• 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦
• 🇪🇬 Egypt 🇪🇬

GROUP B

• 🇵🇹 Portugal 🇵🇹
• 🇪🇸 Spain 🇪🇸
• 🇲🇦 Morocco 🇲🇦
• 🇮🇷 Iran 🇮🇷

GROUP C

• 🇫🇷 France 🇫🇷
• 🇦🇺 Australia 🇦🇺
• 🇵🇪 Peru 🇵🇪
• 🇩🇰 Denmark 🇩🇰

GROUP D

• 🇦🇷 Argentina 🇦🇷
• 🇮🇸 Iceland 🇮🇸
• 🇭🇷 Croatia 🇭🇷
• 🇳🇬 Nigeria 🇳🇬

GROUP E

• 🇧🇷 Brazil 🇧🇷
• 🇨🇭 Switzerland 🇨🇭
• 🇨🇷 Costa Rica 🇨🇷
• 🇷🇸 Serbia 🇷🇸

GROUP F

• 🇩🇪 Germany 🇩🇪
• 🇲🇽 Mexico 🇲🇽
• 🇰🇷 South Korea 🇰🇷
• 🇸🇪 Sweden 🇸🇪

GROUP G

• 🇧🇪 Belgium 🇧🇪
• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
• 🇵🇦 Panama 🇵🇦
• 🇹🇳 Tunisia 🇹🇳

GROUP H

• 🇵🇱 Poland 🇵🇱
• 🇯🇵 Japan 🇯🇵
• 🇨🇴 Colombia 🇨🇴
• 🇸🇳 Senegal 🇸🇳

Who is the 🔥HOTTEST🔥 team in the World Cup? It’s your chance to decide. We’ll do it like the World Cup, with group stages and brackets.

Each team will get a point for each like, reblog, reply, and message. The top two teams from each group will move on to the Knock Out Stages. In the unlikely event of a tie, I will exercise the tiny privilege this blog gives me as tiebreaker. The Group Stages end July 4th.

Remeber! If you have already liked and reblogged, earn your team more points by dropping a message in their favor! Or, better yet, get your friends to like and reblog!

HERE ARE THE CURRENT STANDINGS AS OF THE FOURTH EVENING OF THE GROUP STAGES:

GROUP A

• 🇷🇺 Russia 8.5%  9%  9%
• 🇺🇾 Uruguay 52%  55%  55%
• 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia 2%  2%  2%
• 🇪🇬 Egypt 37.5%  34%  34%

Things staying stable in Group A.

GROUP B

• 🇵🇹 Portugal 10%  12%  11%
• 🇪🇸 Spain 28%  29%  32%
• 🇲🇦 Morocco 15%  14%  14%
• 🇮🇷 Iran 47%  45%  43%

It looks like it’s a straight two-horse race now, with Spain gaining some ground on Morocco.

GROUP C

• 🇫🇷 France 23%  27%  27%
• 🇦🇺 Australia 9%  8%  8%
• 🇵🇪 Peru 35%  27%  27%
• 🇩🇰 Denmark 33%  38%  38%

Stable in Group C…meaning it’s still a tie between France and Peru for second place!

GROUP D

• 🇦🇷 Argentina 18%  24%  24%
• 🇮🇸 Iceland 36%  30%  30%
• 🇭🇷 Croatia 43%  43%  43%
• 🇳🇬 Nigeria 3%  3%  3%

Stable today. Argentina still has a chance, but time’s running out.

GROUP E

• 🇧🇷 Brazil 41%  46%  44%
• 🇨🇭 Switzerland 14%  12%  16%
• 🇨🇷 Costa Rica 7%  6%  6%
• 🇷🇸 Serbia 38%  36%  34%

It’s still Brazil and Serbia leading the way, but Switzerland has gained a bit of ground. 

GROUP F

• 🇩🇪 Germany 28%  29%  27%
• 🇲🇽 Mexico 61%  57%  60%
• 🇰🇷 South Korea 8%  10%  10%
• 🇸🇪 Sweden 3%  4%  3%

Mexico consolidates its lead in hotness again after its heartbreaking exit. Germany looks a likely second place at this point. Is there an upset in the cards?

GROUP G

• 🇧🇪 Belgium 33%  20%  39%
• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 England 12%  64%  46%
• 🇵🇦 Panama 22%  4%  6%
• 🇹🇳 Tunisia 33%  12%  9%

Goodness, this group keeps swinging around wildly! England’s still on top, but Belgium has gained a LOT of ground.

GROUP H

• 🇵🇱 Poland 9%  10%
• 🇯🇵 Japan 16%  24%
• 🇨🇴 Colombia 68%  59%
• 🇸🇳 Senegal 6%  7%

Colombia’s still got it’s big lead, but Japan has strengthened its grip on second place…the margin’s still small, and there’s plenty of room! 

Your next update will come tomorrow night!

Who is the 🔥HOTTEST🔥 team in the World Cup? It’s your chance to decide. We’ll do it like the World Cup, with group stages and brackets.

Each team will get a point for each like, reblog, reply, and message. The top two teams from each group will move on to the Knock Out Stages. In the unlikely event of a tie, I will exercise the tiny privilege this blog gives me as tiebreaker. The Group Stages end July 4th.

Remeber! If you have already liked and reblogged, earn your team more points by dropping a message in their favor! Or, better yet, get your friends to like and reblog!

HERE ARE THE CURRENT STANDINGS AS OF THE EVENING OF THE THIRD EVENING OF THE GROUP STAGES:

GROUP A

• 🇷🇺 Russia 8.5%  9%
• 🇺🇾 Uruguay 52%  55%
• 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia 2%  2%
• 🇪🇬 Egypt 37.5%  34%

Uruguay are solidifying that first place spot, and Egypt seems firmly in second…but will Russia’s surprise victory today give them a boost?

GROUP B

• 🇵🇹 Portugal 10%  12%
• 🇪🇸 Spain 28%  29%
• 🇲🇦 Morocco 15%  14%
• 🇮🇷 Iran 47%  45%

Everyone in this group is now out of the “real” World Cup, but this might have been the hottest group in the Cup. And Iran and Spain seem to be keeping hold.

GROUP C

• 🇫🇷 France 23%  27%
• 🇦🇺 Australia 9%  8%
• 🇵🇪 Peru 35%  27%
• 🇩🇰 Denmark 33%  38%

A group of death continues! The heartbroken Danes should find comfort here, and meanwhile France has pulled level with Peru! What will happen in the last two days?

GROUP D

• 🇦🇷 Argentina 18%  24%
• 🇮🇸 Iceland 36%  30%
• 🇭🇷 Croatia 43%  43%
• 🇳🇬 Nigeria 3%  3%

Croatia and Iceland are still on top but Argentina’s gained some ground…upset on the way? And no love the for the Super Eagles?

GROUP E

• 🇧🇷 Brazil 41%  46%
• 🇨🇭 Switzerland 14%  12%
• 🇨🇷 Costa Rica 7%  6%
• 🇷🇸 Serbia 38%  36%

It still appears to be a two horse race between Serbia and Brazil. I gotta say, I’m surprised at Switzerland’s weak showing.

GROUP F

• 🇩🇪 Germany 28%  29%
• 🇲🇽 Mexico 61%  57%
• 🇰🇷 South Korea 8%  10%
• 🇸🇪 Sweden 3%  4%

Mexico is still on tip by quite a bit, but everyone else is picking up the chase! Will an interesting game versus Switzerland tomorrow up the Swedish chances?

GROUP G

• 🇧🇪 Belgium 33%  20%
• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 England 12%  64%
• 🇵🇦 Panama 22%  4%
• 🇹🇳 Tunisia 33%  12%

Goodness, but there’s been some turnaround here. England has taken quite the lead, with Belgium far behind in second. Tunisia has a chance to pip second place yet…

GROUP H

• 🇵🇱 Poland 9%
• 🇯🇵 Japan 16%
• 🇨🇴 Colombia 68%
• 🇸🇳 Senegal 6%

Well, Colombia take a commanding lead! But second place is still anybody’s game!

Your next update will come tomorrow night!

Now that squads have been announced, we can look more closely into the hotness of the individual teams. I mean, that’s what we’re here for, right? For each team, I’ll talk a bit about the squad, then highlight ten hotties.

Today: SWITZERLAND!

Switzerland, home of precision watches, bad ass chocolate, and a hot soccer team. While they haven’t always had that razzle dazzle, they’re a solid respectable team who have put on a good show so far. Do they have enough to make it into the knock out rounds? Let’s hope so. And let’s mourn that fact that Puma’s kits seems to be better made this year (no ripping)

Team Nickname: Nati, Rossocrociati
Fan Chant: Schweizer Nati ole, ole!

Goalkeepers: 

• Yann Sommer, #1 (home club: Borussia Mönchengladbach))
• Yvon Mvogo, #12 (home club: RB Leipzig)

Pick your jaw up off the floor, it’s rude.

• Roman Buerki, #21 (home club: Borussia Dortmund)
  

I mean, I’m concerned for both these guys ‘cause keepers are most likely to get hit in the face.

Defenders: 

• Stephan Lichtsteiner, #2 (home club: Juventus)
• François Moubandje, #3 (home club: Toulouse)
•  Michael Lang, #6 (home club: Basel)
• Manuel Akanji, #5 (home club: Borussia Dortmund)
• Nico Elvedi, #4 (home club: Borussia Mönchengladbach)
  

More like Elf-vedi

• Ricardo Rodríguez, #13 (home club: Milan)

One number off what I’m thinking.

• Johan Djourou, #20 (home club: Antalyaspor)

His eye-smile-crinkle is insane

• Fabian Schaer, #22 (home club: Deportivo La Coruna)

Fanfics talk a lot about “crooked grins” and I found it.

Midfielders: 

• Valon Behrami, #11 (home club: Udinese)
• Steven Zuber, #14 (home club: 1899 Hoffenheim)
• Denis Zakaria, #17 (home club: Borussia Mönchengladbach)
• Gelson Fernandes, #16 (home club: Eintracht Frankfurt)
•  Xherdan Shaqiri, #23 (home club: Stoke)
• Remo Freuler, #8 (home club: Atalanta)

A perfect hairline.

• Granit Xhaka, #10 (home club: Arsenal)
  

I, a dedicated Tottenham fan, find Xhaka swoon-worthy. That should tell you something.

• Blerim Dzemaili, #15 (home club: Bologna)
  

Mm, mhh, mm, mm, mmh.

Forwards: 

• Haris Seferović, #9 (home club: Benfica)
• Mario Gavranović, #18 (home club: Dinamo Zagreb)
• Josip Drmić, #19 (home club: Borussia Mönchengladbach)
  
• Breel Embolo, #7 (home club: Schalke 04)
  

Literal washboard abs. AND that grin? Unfair.

Well done, Suisse.

Welcome to the Hotness Knockout Stages!

We’re in the Round of Sixteen. Here’s how this will go: I will be posting the FULL 23 MAN ROSTER for EACH TEAM

Vote by sending me a message or reblogging/replying to the Round of Sixteen post with your choice!

This round, to mix things up, I’m getting involved. My vote only counts for 1, and for the ~content~ I’ll go man by man, scoring 1 point for the hotter guy, 0 points for tie. Without further ado the REAL World Cup final matchup in the Round of Sixteen here:

Livakovis is cute, but Lloris is BAE
CRO 0:1 FRA

I like Pavard’s locks, but I think Vrsaljko takes it.
CRO 1:1 FRA

Damn, too tough for me–two different, delicious tastes!
CRO 1:1 FRA

Varane takes it for me. 
CRO 1:2 FRA

Oof. No wonder these teams are in the final. But slight edge to Corluka for me, despite Umtiti’s great grin.
CRO 2:2 FRA

ARGH THESE ARE HARD. Tie.
CRO 2:2 FRA

Hmm, Rakitic looks good here, but I think Griezmann takes it.
CRO 2:3 FRA

I can’t choose.
CRO 2:3 FRA

Damn, this is cruel. Kramaric is a cutie but Giroud.
CRO 2:4 FRA

Two fine players, but I’d rather smooch Mbappe.
CRO 2:5 FRA

Hmm, Brozovic takes this one.
CRO 3:5 FRA

Jedvaj’s not really my type, but I think he’s a little cuter than the midfield maestro.
CRO 4:5 FRA

Hmm…Matuidi!
CRO 4:6 FRA

Damn, tie.
CRO 4:6 FRA

Mandanda’s a legend, but I’d rather date Kalinic.
CRO 5:6 FRA

Hmm…Rami for Memi.
CRO 5:7 FRA

I think this one’s for Rebic.
CRO 6:7 FRA

ARGH. Sidibe?
CRO 6:8 FRA

Well these kids could be twins or something. Tie.
CRO 6:8 FRA

Sorry Vida, I can’t with your hair. Plus, Lucas is way hot.
CRO 6:9 FRA

Ooh, a toughie Two cuties. Tie.
CRO 6:9 FRA

Two PSG keeps, but one of ‘em in the hottest in the biz. Vive le France
CRO 6:10 FRA

A tight battle, but France takes it for me!