Didn't he used to be rubbish? Júlio Baptista of Brazil

Nicknamed "The Beast" because of the 666 birthmark on his head, or something, the attacking midfielder came to prominence with Sevilla before moving to Real Madrid. At the Bernabéu Baptista was constantly played out of position and fell from favour with Real's new boss, the obscure Italian nitwit, Fabio Capello and moved to the Emirates via a swap/loan deal involving the skilfully lightweight Spanish whiner José Antonio Reyes.

Despite his hulking physique, Baptista struggled in the Premier League, scoring only three times in 24 appearances, but found his level in the League Cup where he banged in four against Liverpool in the quarter-final and another brace versus Spurs in the semis. Any thoughts that the blockage in the Baptista goal-chute had been removed for good in minor cup competitions were dashed, however, when he failed to find the net in the final, a 2–1 defeat by Chelsea. At the end of the season Baptista made it plain he wanted to stay, but Arsène Wenger cruelly dashed his dreams. The bustling semi-forward returned crestfallen to Madrid and thence to Rome. He played nearly the entire game for Brazil against Portugal last Friday, but since most watchers fell asleep after 10 minutes few noticed his muscular endeavours.